For couples who don’t want a traditional wedding ceremony

Let’s be honest about weddings.

If you’ve been to more than one or two weddings, you’ve probably sat there, thinking, “they all seem the same!”

The same script.

The same layout.

The same polite smiles as everyone waits for it to finish.

Perhaps you’re planning your own wedding and thinking “we want something different from that, perhaps, a non-traditional wedding.”

You’re in the right place.

Here’s a bold statement: most wedding ceremonies are not really memorable.

Think about it. What do you remember about the most recent wedding you went to?

Perhaps the sameness of it compared with others you’d attended?

How come?

It’s not because the couple wasn’t lovely.

And it’s surely not because the moment wasn’t important. Remember this day is one of the most important in the couple’s entire lives!

Perhaps it was because the ceremony was treated the same way as the others the celebrant had presented. And so, for you as guests – and for the celebrant, no doubt – the ceremony ended up becoming, sadly, something to “get through” before the real celebration began.

So everyone ends up with:

• the same old rituals that they’ve seen at many weddings
• wording that’s uninspiring and could apply to any couple
• awkward structuring and pacing of the ceremony, with poor flow
• guests mentally checking out, and zoning off during the ceremony, wondering what else they could or what else they could be doing
• and a couple standing there, going through the motions thinking “this doesn’t really feel like us”

That’s not a couple problem.

That’s a celebrant problem.

“We’ll just customise it!”

You may here the celebrant offer to do this: “We’ll take a traditional ceremony and personalise it for you.”

Whilst that sounds good, it doesn’t really work, because inserting your names instead of a previous couple’s, or leaving out a few words or adding a story that applies to you doesn’t fix the core issue. If the structure is stiff, outdated, or just not your vibe – it’s not going to work, no matter what.

You don’t need a better version of the same ceremony. You need a completely different starting point.

Don’t forget that, as a couple who’s working with a celebrant you’ve chosen to draft and deliver your marriage ceremony, you can get rid of anything they present to you or suggest to you that feels weird or just doesn’t feel right.

Lots of couples I marry think they have to include certain things because:

• that’s what their parents (or families or best friends) expect, or
• that’s what the weddings they’ve been to (or have seen in the movies) are like, or
• they saw it on Instagram or Tik Tok.

But the truth is they don’t have to include anything because of these external pressures.

Any couple getting married can skip:

• having an aisle to walk down
• being “given away”
• other rituals that mean absolutely nothing to them or have no relevance to them
• using language that’s gendered, traditional or outdated
• long, formal scripts that sound like something to be endured rather than enjoyed.

If it seems forced, it will feel forced.

And you’ll notice it. So will everyone there! Hence those polite smiles that I mentioned earlier.

So what does a good ceremony actually look like?

It looks like something both of you would have. Forget everyone else. This day’s about you!

So, the ceremony looks and feels like it’s got a natural voice and flow. It’s not chaotic. It doesn’t try too hard. And it doesn’t give a vibe of “let’s be different for the sake of being different”.

A good marriage ceremony looks and feels  . . . just right.

• it sounds like you
• it flows naturally
• it keeps your guests engaged
• it actually feels like something is happening – not just being read out.

A good ceremony looks and feels like the celebrant really got to know you. In fact, the best ceremonies give the guests the feeling that the couple has known you for a long time. There’s a certain comfort right through the ceremony.

This isn’t about being “non-traditional”

The celebrant matters more than you think

Here’s the bit people underestimate.

A celebrant isn’t just there to:

• show up 
• read a script 
• sign paperwork 

If you’re thinking “this is exactly what we don’t want . . . ”

Then you’re probably my kind of couple.

I work with people who:

• don’t want a cookie-cutter ceremony
• care about how their ceremony feels, not just how it looks
• want something modern, relaxed, and genuinely them

Not performative.

Not awkward.

Not forgettable.

Just right.

For them.

Let’s make it something you actually want to be part of

If you’ve read this and thought “yes, this — this is what we’ve been trying to say”

Then let’s chat.

No pressure. No hard sell.

Just a conversation about what you actually want your ceremony to feel like. Enquire here / Check my availability